How to Be Happier in the New Year
For those of you who will spend this weekend making New
Year's resolutions -- financial and otherwise -- there's good news: A study that
followed a group of people from college through retirement finds old dogs can
indeed learn new tricks.
But if your resolution is to get rich, the study
suggests, it may not have much effect on your happiness.
In 1966, at a university in the Northeast, 350 students
participated in a psychological survey on personal development and happiness. A
decade later, Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a professor of psychology, came across
the study and tracked down most of the original participants, continuing to
interview them every 10 years until she had nearly 40 years of data. Whitbourne
publishes her findings in the new book "The Search for Fulfillment:
Revolutionary New Research That Reveals the Secret to Long-Term
Happiness."
The good news? "It's never too late to change," says
Whitbourne, who teaches at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. "Especially
now, when times are tough and people get very discouraged, they look back at
their lives and think about what they could have done differently. But you can
look forward."
While some psychologists suggest personality remains
stable over a lifetime, Whitbourne saw continued personal growth in participants
through the decades.
"The research demonstrates the possibility to change in
many ways that you don't think of as adult development," she says. For example,
initiative -- the ability to play and think imaginatively -- is thought to
develop in preschool years. "Many (psychologists) say, 'check off this quality
when you’re five years old and move on.' But I saw some people change in
initiative scores in a positive direction," says Whitbourne.
Another unexpected quality that appeared in later years
was industry, or work ethic. "Again, that's associated with childhood, but that
showed up across the board in the sample," Whitbourne says, particularly for
people in their mid-30s. Some participants who lagged behind their peers in
college gained ground later, she adds.
"You aren't fated to having the personality you had in
your 20s. You’ve got lots of time to catch up," she says.
Whitbourne's research also found money was not associated
with well being. "There were some people who weren't as wealthy who were happy;
and some folks who had everything -- they had reached the pinnacle of their
professions and were at the top of their game, but they answered (affirmatively)
to certain questions, such as 'I feel like a failure' or 'I would like to live
my life over' or 'I regret mistakes I made.'"
While the need to conquer feelings of inadequacy can
sometimes drive financial success, Whitbourne said these participants didn't
exhibit insecurity over the course of the study. Rather, "in some cases, they
felt they'd sold out," she says.
"They started out in one direction 30 years ago and then
made changes that feathered their nests but left them feeling unfulfilled. The
happiest people were the ones who said they were making a difference in the
world -- in some cases not through their professions, but through community
work, volunteering or mentoring."
In addition, Whitbourne found that the much-documented
"mid-life crisis" is a myth.
"There was no evidence of midlife crisis -- nothing due
to age," Whitbourne says. "I interviewed people from their 20s to their 60s, and
that 40-year-old group would have been the key one. But there was no falling
apart of personality at age 43; I think people just love the idea -- 'hey I'm
having a midlife crisis,' instead of 'I'm miserable.'"
For people who experiencing various stages of misery --
or joy -- Whitbourne identifies five different life pathways, and discusses how
to move to a more positive one. They include:
The Meandering Way: Someone has a low
sense of identity, lacks priorities, feels lost and is unable to settle on a
clear set of goals.
The Downward Slope: Someone appears to
have it all, until one or two poor decisions sends his life into a
spiral.
The Straight and Narrow Way: Someone who
embraces predictability, shies away from risk and doesn't enjoy shaking up his
routine.
The Triumphant Trail: Someone whose
inner resilience allowed him to overcome significant challenges that may have
left him despondent.
The Authentic Road: Someone who takes a
bold and honest look at his life, assesses whether it's truly satisfying and
takes the necessary risks to get back on track.
Whitbourne suggests that the latter pathway is the ideal
one, and someone who wants to shift from a negative road to a more fulfilling
one should start with a frank appraisal.
"Do a realistic assessment of where you are now in life
versus where you wanted to be when you were younger; do a mental tallying of
your goals, how they've been met and revised," she
suggests.
Then make small adjustments. "You don't have to run away
and restart your life," Whitbourne says. "Start to make mini-steps and see if
you're feeling better. Then continue to be open to change. Looking at life in a
positive way, and don't get locked into a set way of doing things. Life is about
exploring alternatives."
Despite her conviction in the possibility of change,
Whitbourne is not a fan of New Year's resolutions.
"Turning the corner on a year always sounds great, but
honestly it's just a day," she says. "Don't make too much of it. If you say,
'January 1 is the beginning of a new decade and in three weeks I'm going to be
(different) and then you're not, it's going to be frustrating. Be open to change
continuously, and don't lock it into a certain date. Look for ways to enhance
your life, however long that takes."
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